👃
Constant Threat Sniffing
Our perimeter sensors run 24/7 nose-on inference, detecting raccoons, rogue Roombas, and the occasional in-law.
Status: Alert. Tail: Wagging.On-premise security,
On-premise security,
powered by barking.
AlmaProtect deploys a very good dog at your perimeter, fuses her barks with AI threat classification, and alerts your team faster than a doorbell at 3am.
- 99.4%
- Bark accuracy
- 3.2s
- Avg. response
- 0
- Squirrels missed
LIVE · Front Door · Unit A-01
Alert: Suspicious Mailman
Bark intensity 87%. Tail position: stiff. Dispatching woof.
LIVE · Porch · Unit B-04
LIVE · Backyard · Unit C-12
Trusted by fictional facilities everywhere
- Brightwood Retail
- Vantegra Data Centers
- Harborview Health
- Keystone Financial
- Beacon Manufacturing
- Cascade Cloud
The platformEverything a security team needs.
Everything a security team needs.
Plus a dog.
AlmaProtect combines AI computer-vision detection, perimeter sensors, access control, and the unmatched intuition of a 28-pound furry employee.
🔊
AI Bark Classification
Every woof is scored across 14 dimensions: pitch, urgency, treats-required, and existential dread.
📣
Real-Time Alerting
Push, SMS, email, and one (1) physical paw on your face. You'll know when something is up.
📹
Computer-Vision Cameras
Bring your own cameras. We overlay tail-wag heatmaps and intruder confidence scores in real time.
🛰️
24/7 Monitoring Center
Staffed by trained operators and at least one dog who has read every incident report since 2019.
🚨
Guard Dispatch
On verified threats, we dispatch a responder, a backup dog, and a treat (for the dog, not the intruder).
Why barkFewer false alarms.
Fewer false alarms.
Far more good boys.
Traditional sensors get confused by curtains, cats, and Tuesday. Our bark-fusion model knows the difference between "delivery" and "definitely a stranger".
- 97% reductionin false alarms vs. the leading motion sensor (and one specific Roomba).
- 3.2 secondaverage human-and-canine response time across our monitoring centers.
- 100% tail-wag verifiedalerts. If the dog doesn't believe it, neither do we.
The pack
Meet the team protecting your premises.
Every AlmaProtect deployment is led by a certified dog and a human who reports to them.
Mochi
X ↗Head of Perimeter, Pomsky Division
Pomsky. Fluffy exterior, ruthless threat model. Detected 412 suspicious leaves in Q2 alone.
@mochipomsky
Human reports to Mochi
Vibhu ↗Bay Area
Alma
Instagram ↗Founder & Chief Barking Officer
Started AlmaProtect from her dog bed. Has never missed a delivery, intruder, or snack.
@almooski
Human reports to Alma
Mada ↗Bay Area
Bodhi
Instagram ↗Director of Coastal Reconnaissance
Operates out of Makalei Beach. Specializes in hammock surveillance and long-distance horizon scans.
@bodhifrompointbreak
Human reports to Bodhi
Tracy ↗O'ahu, Hawai'i
Jesse
Senior Analyst, Threat Intelligence
Quietly the smartest dog in the building. Reads the room before the room knows there is a room.
@jesse
Human reports to Jesse
Felicia ↗Bay Area
Moo
Instagram ↗Lead Engineer, Bark Infrastructure
Keeps the bark pipeline humming. Living her best life between deploys in Los Angeles.
@moosayswoof
Human reports to Moo
Jess ↗NYC, LA & Bay Area
Powered by Upside
Visit upside.tech ↗How AlmaProtect runs its fictitious go-to-market on Upside.
Our dogs sniff out intruders. Upside sniffs out signal in our go-to-market data — connecting Salesforce, Gong, HubSpot, and the rest of our stack, then turning a prompt into an interactive mini-app with our own numbers. Here are the apps the AlmaProtect team actually uses.
SalesOpen ↗
Send Time Optimizer
Heatmap of the day-and-hour windows where outbound earns the most replies, with significance testing and a what-if reply-lift calculator.
HeatmapEmailSignificance
AttributionOpen ↗
AEO Influence Analysis
How ChatGPT, Perplexity, Gemini, and Claude influence pipeline — win-rate lift, share of voice, sentiment, and AI-influenced deals.
AEOLLMsWin-Rate Lift
AttributionOpen ↗
Channel Analysis
Which channels influenced closed-won deals across awareness, activation, and close — with a deal-by-channel matrix and recommendations.
ChannelsBuyer JourneyClosed-Won
MarketingOpen ↗
Customer Quotes
A website-ready voice-of-customer wall pulled from call transcripts, with logo-use rights so you know who you can feature.
Voice of CustomerLogo Rights
SalesOpen ↗
Campaign Follow-Up Tracker
After someone engages, how fast does sales follow up — and who's still waiting? Leaderboards by rep, campaign, and month.
Speed-to-LeadLeaderboards
AttributionOpen ↗
The Podcast Effect
How a founder's podcast appearances move pipeline — win-rate lift, revenue by quarter, and a voice-of-customer wall of buyer quotes.
PodcastInfluenceAttribution
SalesOpen ↗
Intent Signals
Accounts showing buying signals with no open opportunity, ranked by intent, with proto-opportunity dossiers and recommended actions.
IntentPipelineSignals
SalesOpen ↗
Prospect Awareness Analysis
How much each prospect already knows about you before the SDR call — taxonomy, quotes, and a sortable call-detail table.
AwarenessSDR CallsTaxonomy
MarketingOpen ↗
Paid Media Impact
Paid search and paid social, from spend to sourced and influenced pipeline — ROAS, cost-per-opp, and strategic recommendations.
Paid SearchROASAttribution
Want one built from your own data? Start with Upside →
Pricing
Plans for every premises.
Paid in treats and toys. No long contracts. Cancel anytime. The dog stays in touch.
Pup
12treats/mo
For homes and small offices with one entry point and modest squirrel traffic.
- 1 monitored zone
- Standard bark classification
- Email + push alerts
- Treat-budget not included
Most loyal
Pack
72treats + 1 squeaky toy/mo
For multi-site retail, clinics, and warehouses that need real coverage.
- Up to 12 zones
- Advanced AI bark fusion
- 24/7 monitoring center
- Guard dispatch in 30 min
- Dedicated lead dog
Enterprise
A wholetoy box(let's talk)
Campuses, data centers, hospitals. Full perimeter, access control, and a pack of dogs.
- Unlimited zones
- On-prem deployment
- Custom bark models
- Dedicated CSO + canine
- SLA: 3.2s